Short-Throw Shifter: Demo Derby Granny

So an old lady came into the car lot today to ask for directions. She walked slowly, somewhat hunched over, and stared at us through bi-focals the size of dinner plates. I had the impression that she shouldn't be driving, and looking over her shoulder to see where she parked, my suspicions were confirmed. Granted we don't have parking spaces at our dealership, it's pretty much common sense that you don't park in the middle of an open driveway.

Anyway, the lady was lost, so we tried to help her. Of course she had no address on hand, nor a phone number, and while we tried to google her destination, she walked out while mumbling that she'd find her way just fine.


It was only when she got in her car that I noticed the dents and dings all over her car. Every single body panel was dented, scraped, or otherwise mangled. I ran outside to prevent disaster, but I was too late. She had already backed into a royal blue Honda S2000. I had to risk my life and step in front of her vehicle to get her attention.

She had no idea that she had hit a car, and proved so, by saying, "But I didn't hear any loud noises." I doubted she could hear much at all, and I figured that out in the thirty seconds of conversation I had with her just moments before. As she climbed out of her car with fuzzy seat and steering wheel covers, she performed a strange maneuver of snaking her left arm through the steering wheel to shift her car into park.

Some people shouldn't be driving, period. And this lady, well, she probably shouldn't be driving as of ten years ago. I hope someone will have the guts to stand up to me years from now, put out their hand, and say: "Give me the keys, it's time."

Next time I'll be on the watch for cars that have possibly been used in demolition derbies, and I'll kindly ask them to leave before they damage any of our cars. In fact, I'll probably ask them to just step out of the vehicle so I can pull it around for them. Yeah, that sounds better. Then I wave from the curb as they turn out into oncoming traffic (it's a one way street). Yikes!

-Biggs

Short-Throw Shifter: So Long Sweet Saturn

So long, Saturn. Your company was doomed from the start, back in 1985. You attempted to be a different company, trying to compete against machine-made Japanese cars with crummy, forgettable American junk. Well, in case you weren't aware, it didn't work.

Your cars have always been second rate. They are about as good-looking as a hippo bathing in Rogaine. I hope that the Penske Automotive Group will either turn this brand into something substantial, or that they'll be smarter than GM and just trash the company.

Unless you can build quality and attractive looking cars, you don't deserve to be in business. Take a lesson from Pontiac. And SAAB....*sigh*...I have nothing to say.
-Biggs

Burnin' Rubber: Gymkhana Racing

Gymkhana, a term which originates from the showcasing of horseriders and their talents, is now being associated with skillful drivers of powerful cars on unorthodox tracks.

Ken Block, who is sponsored by Monster and Subaru, is the king of this new style of racing. If you haven't seen his videos on youtube, you're missing out.

Imagine a souped up and silly-fast Subaru WRX STI (pictured below) blowing through an industrial course full of insane turns and incredible obstacles. Ken Block is doing things that have never been done in a car before. His videos are honestly some of my favorites on youtube, and that's saying a lot, since I'm probably on youtube every day while eating breakfast.

In this image, the dummy is holding a water balloon in his hand, and though it appears that the Subaru is going to hit the dummy head on, Ken Block swings the rear end the opposite direction, hitting the dummy's hand with his drivers side rear fender, bursting the balloon of green monster beverage in a slow motion display of giddy joy.

Check it out, it's absolutely amazing. Copy and paste the link below. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ7R_buZPSo
-Biggs

Test Drive: Mini Cooper S

Few cars are as easily recognized as the Mini Cooper. It grew to mass popularity when the new Italian Job came out a few years ago, and they've retained their iconic status and uniqueness.

Drive one, and you'll know why these rocket racers were used for getaway cars. They are light, they are small, easy to drive, fuel efficient, and being turbocharged, they are fast.

And if customization is your thing, forget Scion and that silly Nissan Cube. There's no better way in the automotive world to express yourself than with the Mini Cooper. According to Mini's website, there are over 10,000,000 different combinations of Mini Cooper. The possibilities are, well, endless.

The Mini Cooper is a very fun car to drive. It's low to the ground, has a tight suspension, and a gutsy engine. Push it, it goes. Turn it, it turns. It's been said that it's like driving a go-cart, and that's exactly what it's like, with the addition of air conditioning.

The ride can be a bit rough, and the interior panels squeak like a pack of mice cornered by a hungry bobcat. The interior layout of buttons and knobs makes me feel like I'm in an Apollo Lander, and if I were, I'd probably slam into the moon because I couldn't find the appropriate controls. Also, the only person who would fit in the back seat is Bubba from Forrest Gump, cuz he ain't got no legs.

Those complaints, however, are fairly minor when compared to the overall experience of the Mini Cooper. In my opinion, the only Mini worth buying is the "S" version, which means turbocharged (after 2006) or supercharged (before 2006). The non-S is fun, but not nearly as sporty.

Thanks for reading.
-Biggs

Test Drive: 2008 Volkswagen R32

While many "R" enthusiasts swear by the exclusive six-speed manual in the past generation, it's hard to discredit the latest (and possibly last) top of the line Golf...Rabbit...what do they call it now? Doesn't matter. It's a hot hatch either way.

Available with one trim and two options (Navigation and ipod connection), the R32 is loaded and ready for fun. Only found in a two door with Volkswagen's new automatic DSG (dual clutch) transmission, the 2008 R32 provokes mixed feelings from a devoted crowed of followers. Some say that VW has gone soft by offering such an iconic and powerful car without a standard (not even an optional) manual tranny. You could say the motive is to captivate a larger audience, allowing drivers who prefer automatic to purchase this otherwise exclusive vehicle. However, with only 5000 coming to the U.S. each year, that answer is considered myth-busted.

Even without the preferred manual tranny, the R32 is a beast to be reckoned with. It's little brother, the GTI, is 400 pounds lighter and only 0.5 seconds slower in 0-60 time, and is affordably priced when pitted against the R. However, with a few nicer upgrades, 50 more hp, and Volkswagen's signature "4Motion," the R32 feels much more refined and glued to the road. It's exhaust note sounds like, should ginormous amounts of catnip fall from heaven, a lion's purr.

When compared to Japan's evil twins, the Evo and the STI, the R32 can't quite keep up in a sprint, but neither of the former can match the R's refinement and near luxury. Overall, despite being a tad slower, the R32 is incomparably solid, allowing for a comfortable and engaging daily driver with immediate power through it's naturally aspirated V6. The turbocharged demons from Japan suffer, like nearly every other t-charged car, from turbo lag.

Though my drive only lasted a few minutes, I loved the feeling of the R32. The hatch looks great and allows for diversity which cannot be found in a standard sedan or coupe. Would I own one? I surely wouldn't mind. Though I'm partial to four doors, this two-door hatch has certainly made me re-think my ways.

Thanks for reading.
-Biggs

Kickin' Tires: Porsche Panamera

I must not be a true Porsche fan. First, I'm not wealthy enough to even consider renting one. Second, I welcome cars like the Boxter, Cayenne, Cayman, and the latest Panamera. Many Porsche fanatics would have me beheaded and quartered, drug through the streets of Stuttgart, Germany for blasphemy. Sure, they're not the 911, 928, or a 959, but in my eyes, they all wear the Porsche badge.

The Boxter came into play when Porsche was somewhat struggling financially, and played a key role in stabilizing the company. Though not much to hoot and hollar about, the Boxter has been a success for Porsche, and you see them everywhere.

The Cayenne was more controversal, it being an SUV made by a sports car brand. Though odd and out of place, the Cayenne is one of the fastest (if not the fastest) SUV's on the road today, proving it can hold true to Porsche's performance standards.

Recently introduced into the lineup is the Cayman. At first glance, it's a boxter with a hard top. But don't be fooled, the Cayman has been labled by many to be (*whisper it*) better than the 911. It's balance is better than the 911, and with a bit more power (and a more attractive behind) we might find the 911 obsolete.

Now, Porsche has gone to another level entirely. Say good-bye to BMW's 7-series and the Benz S-Class: the Panamera is here. Nowhere else can you find gravity bending performance combined with pure luxury. I guess you could call it a Hybrid, so to speak. The Panamera seats four adults in a four door, first class setting which makes aircraft takeoff feel lethargic. It's standard V8 produces 400 hp, while a turbo version will pump out 500 plus, launching you and three friends to 60 mph in, oh, about 4 seconds. The supercars welcome you, the first four-door, with open arms and tears in their eyes. They never thought it would be possible, and neither did we.

The Panamera is pure Porsche, in styling, comfort, handling and

performance. It's curves, modeled after the Porsches of old, are as timeless and smooth as the 911 Turbo of 1975. The only downside with this four-door beauty, like nearly every Porsche before it, is the pricetag. True Porsche indeed. At a six-figure pricetag, the Panamera is for the rich and famous. Maybe in a few decades I can afford to buy a used one.
-Biggs

My Car: 2007 Civic Si Sedan

I drive a Honda Civic, the Si variant, which stands for "Sport Injected." It's nearly the same as a normal Civic....nearly. But the Si is hardly civilized. Take it up to 8,000 RPM, and you'll know what I mean.

A six-speed manual powered by 197 horsepower is standard equipment, as well as a custom black and red interior treatment. Honda has added a Limited Slip Differential to the front wheels, making sure that traction is always maximized during turns and corners. The suspension is more stiff and race-ready compared to it's sibling Civic, and the wheels, spoiler, and decals give it a unique and fast-while-standing-still look.

The Si comes in coupe and sedan variants, though I'm partial to the sedan. Personally, I think it looks better. Practicality-wise: I see too many cars for sale simply because the two doors are completely anti-children, and they need to upgrade.

Adding a sedan version of the Si is a first in the history of Honda's Sport Injected vehicles. Bravo, I say, bravo.

I've had this car for about 8 months, and I've loved every moment spent in the bucket seat. It's a fast, fun car, which begs to be revved up past 6,000 RPM (aka the limit on most cars). The exhaust note is awesome, and I can't wait for cooler days, meaning windows down so that I, as well as others, can hear it scream when I punch the throttle.

Even though I drive like a maniac most days, I'm still getting an average of 26 mpg, and I've seen as high as 34 on roadtrips. Few (if any) V6 cars can claim such numbers and suceed in keeping up with me on a straight launch. I laugh in their faces, which can be somewhat awkward if we both stop at another red light together.
-Biggs

Bears and Donkeys: The Fall of Pontiac

In my opinion, I say good riddance. Pontiac's existance has been marked with great cars and complete failures, like many automakers out there. Everyone makes mistakes, and typically they learn from them too. Pontiac is an exception.



My wife owned a Pontiac Grand Am; worst car ever. After we got married, the first thing I did was try and sell that piece of junk. The interior held up great (though it was ugly as sin) but the rest of the car was second rate, fading, and making funny noises. I knew other people, friends of mine, who owned the same car and were heirs of the same problems that we had. There was a clicking noise that constantly came from the dash, and if I didn't have the music blasted, it was guaranteed to induce seizures and insanity.


Not everything has been bad for Pontiac, though. Legendary cars like the Firebird, the GTO, and the new G8 (above) have surely stood out above the crowd. They are American Icons, the few and the proud who made it through the island of
misfit toys, formerly known as Pontiacs.


And like Pontiac, I believe that other automakers need to perform or go the way of the buffalo. It's no wonder that Pontiac, Chrysler, and Saturn have gone out of money. They make inferior products compared to the rest of the market, and still they charge the same price or more than their competitors.


If you can't make the high school football team, you might want to discipline yourself to lift weights, eat right, and exercise more. No coach with brains is going to say, "Well, you tried, and even though you suck, I'll play you anyway." Nor will the coach offer inferior players things like steroids to give them an advantage over the players who don't cheat, and who actually deserve to be on the team.


And so, in my opinion, should be the auto industry. If you can't make the cut, too bad, and better luck next time. That's the American way. No more entitlement or freebies; you work for what you want, you dream big, and you go out and get it. And if it takes some healthy competition to achieve that, then that only makes the competitors stronger. I don't care how iconic or legendary you have been in the past, if you can't stand up to today, we don't want you tomorrow.


Thanks for reading.
-Biggs

Test Drive: 2008 MazdaSpeed3

We've all heard of the Mazda3, the car which offers plenty of affordable zoom-zoom. It's wild sibling, the Mazdaspeed3, is slightly obscure, which is odd considering the love that all automotive magazines share for this car.

Take the wagon version of the Mazda3, give it a 263 hp turbocharged engine, and say "buh-bye" to the competition. The Speed3 version comes with a standard 6-speed manual tranny, which says "only enthusiasts need apply within." With larger wheels and interior tweaks, you know this is something beyond the normal 3.

When I took the 2008 model out for a drive, the salesperson told me to mind the clutch. He said that guys came in all the time, claiming they've driven Evolutions and WRX STI's and surely this would be easy, only to drop the clutch and stall right there in the parking lot. Luckily, I maintained my dignity and drove off without incident, maybe because at that point I'd never driven an Evo or STI before.

I pulled onto the highway and went to town on the asphalt. The acceleration was exciting, and the car begged to be pushed harder. Each gear, no matter the rpm level, provided plenty of furious power. There was some torque-steer when accelerating, especially through corners, but that is expected, being the fastest front wheel drive production car. I wanted one before the drive, and I left the lot with a smile on my face that didn't leave for days.

The new 2010 model (left) features a newly designed body and interior, adds a hoodscoop and dual exhaust, and maintains the 263 hp engine found in the original. Whichever you choose, you're sure to feel a rush unlike any other. On top of that, you've still got four doors and a roomy hatch for cargo. It's the all around family cruiser with enough power to make daddy vow against mini-vans forever and ever.
-Biggs

Kickin' Tires: Hyundai Genesis Coupe

Genesis: the first in the most famous book of all time, and the name of a car that's changed everything Hyundai (pronounced Hun-day, like Sunday) has ever stood for.

The Hyundai Genesis is the car maker's first real push into Luxury Territory. Expertly built, plentiful standard features, lush leather and interior gadgets, and an optional 375 hp V8 are just a few of the things that made the car industry go "ga-ga" over this car. It's no wonder it was named Car of the Year for 2009.

Then came the Genesis Coupe. However, even at first glance, it's apparent that the Coupe and the Sedan aren't even related. They don't share a chassy, interior decor, or even body styling. It almost seems as though "Genesis" isn't even a car, and more of a state of being. Just as the Sedan is the company's first attempt at luxury, it appears as though the Coupe is their first stab at performance. It looks like they came through on both ends.

Available in a 2.0 liter turbocharged four and a 3.8 liter V6, and standard rear wheel drive, this car is set to scoot and slide at its driver's request. The suspension is track-tuned, proving to the world that this is more than just a daily commuter. The 2.0T puts out 210 hp and the 3.8 rocks out at 306 hp. Both are "Speedy Gonzales" quick and frugally priced to boot. Starting at $22,000 for the 2.0T. you get a lot for the money (I guess it's not changing everything Hyundai stands for).

Genesis is surely not the only surprise we'll see from Hyundai. No longer aiming at uber-affordable and semi-boring, Hyundai seeks to compete with sports cars and luxury sedans at a higher level than every though possible by Hyundai. They've surpised us all, and while I haven't driven one yet, I can't wait to get my hands on the wheel. Hopefully we'll see an "Exodus" here in the near future, though I'm not sure that Deuteronomy would be a popular name.

Thanks for reading! Tell your friends!
-Biggs

Joyride: Mitsubishi Evolution X

"X" is a ten in Roman Numerals, for those who aren't aware.

The Evolution X is the latest installment is the latest generation Evo, having launched in the 2008 model year. The Evo X creates a much less jarring ride that it's predecessors, while still managing to obtain startling numbers on the road. It's 0-60 time is in the 4 second range, which is dominated by supercars and beastly V-10s like the Viper. Those supercars, with prices three or four times as expensive, have a hard time beating this $35,000 sport sedan on the track.

Weight distribution in the Evo is a perfect 50-50 split, 50% of the balance to the front of the car, and 50% of the weight on the rear wheels. Things like the battery and fluids are placed in the trunk in order to help with that perfect balance ratio. Powered by a 2.0 liter turbocharged engine, the Evo boasts 291+ horsepower which powers all four wheels using the most advanced all wheel drive technology on the market, known as Super-All Wheel Control (S-AWC). Such technology exisits only in the Evo X and the show-stopping, heart pumping Nissan GT-R.

I had the privilege of driving one of these monsters after a guy traded it in for a minivan (poor fella). Just once around a half-mile loop was enough to prove that this was no ordinary car. I sat in the driver's seat, keys in hand, while I waited for the paperwork to be signed. As soon as he rolled of the lot, I started it up and took off, knowing that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

I was impressed how easy it was to drive, and how empowering I felt at the helm. The all wheel drive gave me the comfort of complete control, as I could feel the wheels gripping and pulling me easily around corners. I dropped it to second gear at 30 mph and shot off along a short stretch, easily reaching 80+mph at third gear in a flash.

Needless to say, this was a wild ride that I won't likely forget. I asked my wife that night if I could buy it, and sadly, she talked some sense into me. But if I had the money and the means, there are few cars that I like more, and none that hand you that much performance for the price.

Thanks for reading.
-Biggs